Paleo Flaxseed Flat Bread

I have a serious problem, and I’m not quite sure how to cure myself.

You see, I’m rather good at making messes. Especially kitchen messes. I will bake up a storm and use every pot, pan, bowl, and fork in the house in less than 24 hours. Believe me. I’m a pro. But that’s not my problem.

My husband is the cleaner, the tidier, and the make-everything-in-the-house shiny-er. I’m talking professional cleaning service level. It’s awesome. Until he mops the floor and then I stress out about anything getting on it (like the night that I made those amazing, decadent, and terribly addictive cupcakes…those floors had been polished  a mere 10 minutes before my son and I started throwing crumbly cupcake bits onto them). Then I start cleaning. But that is also not my problem.

My problem is that when my husband cleans the kitchen, a light bulb goes off in my brain.
Time to cook.
Every. single. time.

Now you would think that because I recognize it, I could just turn it off. Not so. For example, today I pretty much laid in bed all day because of a massive headache that has lasted over four days and whose status is being raised to migraine if my chiropractor can’t get all my bones lined back up where they should be. But I digress. My sweet husband came home early today to help corral our very active two-year-old so I could get some rest. They washed the dishes, swept the floors, and nearly mopped them with all of the water that made it onto the floor. This is at seven o’clock p.m. I rise, as if from the dead, stumble my way into the clean kitchen, and start a batch of almond butter in my unbearably loud food processor. I mix together a batch of Paleo flaxseed flat bread, and toss it into the oven, set the timer, and sit down.


Only to realize that I have a major problem. I have zero energy right now, and zero tolerance for noise (hello? why did I have to use the loud food processor?).

And yet…

I have this problem. I’m not sure what to do about it. Do you have any ideas? It’s great to have a clean kitchen to motivate me to cook and take amazing pictures, but really. This is getting a bit ridiculous.

Here’s the best part: my husband will intentionally clean the kitchen when he doesn’t want to make dinner. I view this as the highest form of flattery although it might fall into a category not unlike manipulation. Because if there’s anything in the world that my dear, darling husband hates more than I hate cleaning, it’s cooking. He hates cooking. He loves my cooking; he just doesn’t want to be the one who cooks. Though he will, when I’m very busy, cook meals.

That folks, is true love.

He can keep cleaning the kitchen, and I’ll keep making Paleo Flaxseed Flat Bread for him.

Paleo FlaxseedFlat Bread (1)

Paleo Flaxseed Flat Bread


  • 3/4 cup ground Flax Seed
  • 2 1/4 cups Water
  • 2 Eggs (Vegans: substitute 2 tbs ground flax + 6 tbs water)
  • 3/4 cup melted Coconut Oil
  • 1 1/4 cup Coconut Flour (plus 1/4 cup extra for rolling)
  • Equipment Needed

  • Electric hand mixer
  • 2 pieces of parchment paper
  • Rolling pin
  • Takes , makes 10-12 flat breads.


    1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit.
    2. Soak flax seeds in water for approximately 10 minutes.
    3. Melt coconut oil. Set aside.
    4. Using an electric mixer, beat eggs until uniform in color (Vegans: skip).
    5. Add flax seed to eggs using beater attachment (not whisk) on low.
    6. Add coconut oil slowly to the flax seed/egg mixture.
    7. Slowly add in coconut flour and beat with electric hand mixer for twenty seconds on low, or until combined. Your dough will look wet and sticky at this point.
    8. Divide dough into 10-12 pieces and roll flour into each until a ball forms (should not be sticky).
    9. Flatten balls and roll between two pieces of parchment until about 4-5 inches in diameter and place parchment and rolled flat bread onto a cookie sheet or baking stone.
    10. Bake for approximately 15-17 minutes.

    Let cool for 5 minutes before slathering on almond butter or honey.

    Enjoy your Paleo Flaxseed Flat Bread!